Sacred Idleness??

Being still and quiet is good for the soul. A quiet mind makes the voice of the Holy Spirit easier to hear. When my body is still, when I give up control and invite God into my space, we grow close. I can more discretely discern what is His voice as opposed to mine.

I think God wants us to spend time with Him in complete stillness....

I don't think He intends for us to sit idle ALL DAY long...lost...in a Deadliest Catch marathon!

OOopS! Does it count that I recognize that God gave me this day and I am utterly thankful that my weekends are no longer tied up at the hospital. So depsite the fact that I did not dedicate my idleness today to hearing the voice of God...I do give thanks to God that I now have days that I can lay in my pj's till 3p.m. and have all 3 meals with my husband. I can play with my puppies and bake brownies...

I have nowhere to be... nothing I HAVE to do...

Praise be to God!

its that time again...

I HATE paying bills! It makes me anxious and frustrated then plain ol'mad! I have a goal to re-establish my pre house purchase savings just to have some dort of security blanket in the light of our current economic crisis. But alas, each month I am left with just enough. I pray for provision and that is what I get. I have the hardest time trusting God with finances and He knows that. Is it selfish of me to ask for more... for left overs??

Well anyway...here goes nothing... big-deep-breath...I'm off to pay bills in an anxiety free manner. I am resigned to not be angry at the very small balance left over....

THE.END...

its coming up babies!

This is a busy spring and its about to get busier. I have several important people who are all expecting...and the babies are about to being their arrival parade in just a few days! My good friend Jaime is expecting her first child John...in one week exactly! I wish her the safest, quickest, easiet delivery! I pray for the doctors and nurses taking care of baby John. I can't wait to meet him!

My sister in law is also expecting in June so Chris and I will be an aunt and uncle. Brayden is due June 28. I can't wait to see my husband with a baby... hopefully a sign of what's to come.

Finally my best friend Kimberly is also expecting a little one. Her Little Man (also named Brayden) is scheduled to arrive in mid July. I am so excited about this baby. All who know Kimberly and Wes were never really sure they would ever have kids (by choice). SO imagine our delight when after 8 years of marriage... they decided to give parenthood a try! Kimberly and I have been through every major life event together so this is so special to be a part of another momentous occasion!

So of course with all these other folks having babies... can you imagine the baby fever coursing thru my veins??? we are trying to be patient and smart about the timing of starting a famliy of our own...with Chris in school and the economy the way it is... I think we'll wait a while... Until then I think I'll have plenty of other babies to practice with...

Aubrey and Chris Fiorillo

Chris and I were married November 5, 2010 in a small ceremony surrounded by our friends and family. Here are a few photos...

Click here to view this photo book larger

Anticipation....

I've decided I don't like it! AT ALL!! I can't stand surprises...unless its a total surprise and I don't see it coming. Christmas presents under the tree taunt me, waiting to hear good or bad news drives me crazy. At work, when things are about to go bad with a patient, I hate waiting for it to happen. I don't know what to do with my self while I wait. Not knowing what's to come makes my mind race with possible outcomes and or plans of action I might need to take. I can't sleep, I can't think, I wonder, worry and stew over what might or might not be/happen... Anticipation is not good for me (and a recent discovery, my health either)!

Right now my life is full of anticipation. In 24 days I close on my house. But first I'm waiting to see if I save enough for the down payment and closing costs. So between each paycheck, I DIE waiting to see if I've made enough. I'm waiting...simply waiting to move. I am excited and CANNOT wait to live in my house. In the meantime, my time and head are filled with anticipating the move... switching utilities, changing my address, hiring movers, packing, settling things with my apartment folks. I'm getting married. OF COURSE I'm excited but my again my head is spinning while I wait. And then there's work which I think is the biggest thing that's getting to me. All the previously mentioned activities/festivities require money, money, money.

My job these days is not going well at all. Currently my unit is closed meaning I don't exactly have a place to work.(this is the 5th time since May) Because I am full time, I am usually guaranteed my hours but the census all over the hospital is low so that's not been happening. So everyday that I'm scheduled to work, I have to wait to find out if I actually do get to work. Hence the added anticipation of whether or not my paycheck will be enough (and the cycle continues).

So now with all the anticipation of the house and wedding, I find myself looking for a new job. One that will lessen the fear of not making enough money. I have a few leads but as this is a holiday, I can't truly pursue anything until tomorrow. SO again I wait.

I am praying so hard to trust that God will provide for me. I think He might be having a hard time getting through to me. I know (with my head) that He is capable and wants nothing more than to take care of me. I'm just having a hard time believing with my heart. But I'm trying. I'm praying for peace of mind and a calm spirit so that I can hear and feel where I am being lead. I know He has good things in store for me and my life. I just need to be patient and wait for them to happen. (there I go waiting again) I have to remember that it's God time schedule and not mine. So I'm going to trust and wait on the Lord. I am going to boldly trust Him with my life. I just hope He forgives my accidental mistrust.