BIG ol' from the belly...sigh

OK so I've been awake for nearly an hour. I have to go to work tonight and I can't make myself get up and get ready. there is nothing I can say to myself that makes me want to walk through the doors of my unit. I have had another horrifyingly emotional week at work and its only my Wednesday... I have 4 more days not including tonight to go. Normally I love going to work. I love being a nurse. I love taking care of people. I love being challenged by the unexpected. I have to distance myself from my patients a lot of the times in the name of self preservation and mental alertness. I have to try to block myself from becoming too emotionally involved otherwise I would not be able to perform my sometimes unpleasant duties. However the last two weeks, I have had patients who had struck me to the core and have knocked me to my knees by their situations. I feel certain it is God speaking through them and their circumstances to teach me things about Him and myself and life in general. I recognize that and BELIEVE ME... 10-4 I'm reading loud and clear. But it's leaving me emotionally drained. All i want to do is sit and ponder or just be with my patients and my Lord. Unfortunately I have other things I have to think about at work. I have to focus. I have to be alert and on my game. I feel like I'm in a fog, a daze and on the verge of tears. While I appreciate very much the lessons God gives to me and very much want to see Him in action, I need some time to think and absorb and repair my heart. I need a break! I don't want to be disengaged at work. I feel I owe it to my patients to be able to connect to the person who quite literally sometimes hold theirs lives in their hands. But I'm going to fall apart if I keep going like this. I have got to somehow find a balance again. But no time now... I'm running late now. Sigh....chin up kid...just do whatcha gotta do.