Worried and Tired of Waiting

I haven't heard anything from the California hospital and it has me worried. I'm telling myself that since we're just coming off the weekend, I should give it time....and since its almost Thanksgiving..., But I walked into work this week and saw my replacement already orienting!!! Which in essence means that when my contract is up in December, I have NO way of signing a new contract. There is no vacancy for me to fill. SO if for some reason I don't have an assignment, I'm out of a job!!!!! I am trying so hard to be patient and to keep a calm spirit about me but got bills to pay!!! I'm kinda peeved at my boss as well. I am well aware that as a contract nurse, he has no obligation to me; when my contract is up, its up. He is under no obligation to renew me. But since I've been here, um longer than he has... you would think he would have just a WEE little bit of loyalty toward me. But no, I haven't OFFICIALLY given him a notice and my contract isn't OFFICIALLY up and he has me replaced and without a job!!!!! So needless to say, I'm a little on edge. My weakest point of faith is trusting that God will take care of me financially even though He has proven himself time and time again. I've gotten used to taking care of myself over the last couple of years and I'm finding it difficult to relinquish control. Its not like bills will wait for God's timing... you know? I'm praying like crazy for patience but I'm also praying like crazy that if this is hospital is not the one God intends for me to travel to first, that He provide another one...quickly ;)I covet your prayers in this!

I've been in my new apartment for about a week now. It's been a whirlwind. I've hardly had time to notice the difference. Move-in day was as good as could be expected. And we've been unpacking boxes ever since. We finally removed the 6 foot tall x 20 foot long pile of cardboard boxes from our garage yesterday. I'm looking forward to the day when I can come home and not have to figure out where things are going to go. I've had to come up with some pretty creative storage solutions since my living space is a BIT smaller than previously. (My old apartment really spoiled me!!) This move has been good for re-evaluating my priorities. I've been reminded that material possessions are just that... material. I had a bit of a meltdown when I realized I couldn't have all my "stuff" with me at my new apartment. I didn't like that about myself. I don't want to be materialistic and selfish. I don't want to be "of this world". I was forced to take a step back and think about how important things had become in my life. I do enjoy the things I've acquired over the years don't get me wrong. Many of my things have precious memories attached. I needed to be reminded that its the memories and the life moments that are important. So once I came back to my senses, the adjustment has been much easier. I've been working this week and this weekend I have to clean my old apartment and turn in the keys and I'll be done with that place. It'll be good to be responsible for just one residence. I haven't quite gotten used to living with people again. Our schedules are all over the place at work these days since its the holidays. So hopefully soon we'll get to spend some time together.

Thanksgiving is just a few days away! I have to work but will get to spend a few hours with my family. I am so looking forward to it. I wish I had more time to spend with them but I cherish the time I have with them. I wish warm, fuzzy family gatherings for everyone! Happy Thanksgiving!

oh yeah

I forgot... My recruiter sent my profile to a potential employer yesterday. Its in Laguna Hills, Ca. I am so hopeful. The hospital is looking for ICU nurses as well as Respiratory Therapists so the likelihood that my friend and I will be able to travel together is pretty good. So we're waiting to hear from the managers of the different units to see if they want us. Keep your fingers crossed! I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything!

blogless

I am mind numbingly tired. I moved... it went as well as lugging boxes and furniture up a flight of stairs can go. We're still getting settled in and used to living with one another. I've had a melt down or two... it's hard to adjust when exhaustion blurs your senses.

I'll blog a more indepth blog later when I am more awake and aware and can form more coherent thoughts/sentences! Just wanted to check in.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Today's the day! I sign my new lease and get the keys to my new apartment this afternoon; and with them I gain 2 new roommates! I haven't lived with anyone in a year now and in all honesty, I think I might miss my autonomy a bit. I'm excited and I love them but I've gotten used to the mine-all-mine comfort of living alone.

I whole heartily believe in 1/4 life crises. I can remember being about 25-ish and deep in the throws of trying to gain confidence as an adult, internally fighting/mourning the loss of the freedom and carefree spirit that defines a young adult, and struggling to completely define and understand who I truly am. Slowly but surely all that uncertainty fades and a real-live adult emerges and life gets better but not without tears and questions and a littel bit of sadness. It is a necessary process but it stinks to be in the middle of it. All that to say, I think my friend/roommate Rebeccah having a bit of a crisis. She is newly 26 and definitely having trouble asserting who she is and what she wants, not because she is meek and mild and the quiet sort of wall-flower girl. She truly has no idea what she wants in or from life. She is, admittingly, used to decisions being made for her and because she has been overshadowed by her siblings her whole life, she has never found her own voice. So now, she is being given the opportunity to assert herself, give her opinion, stand up for what she wants and she is finding the task a bit daunting to say the least. I am excited for her to be in this place as hard as it is. I know that on the other side of the chaos is a confident, self-assured grown-up Rebeccah. If I want anything for anybody in this world, it is for them to find their voice and feel confident enough to make it heard. I am priveledged to watch her go through this and help her along. I pray for patience through all the indecision and tears.

SO we move tomorrow. Its gonna be a long day. I pray for lots of sleep tonight and even more energy tomorrow. I'll blog tomorrow(provided my internet works) and give an update on how it went.

Happy Friday everyone!